So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
