your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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