Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
