At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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