I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
