but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
