I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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