i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
