Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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