I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
