Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
