I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
