You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
