You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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