The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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