and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you traded sex for a burrito?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
