She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
