Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
