I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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