He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
