he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
that may or may not have been my penis.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
