Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
