no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
