Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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