so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
