how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
