just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
