How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
