Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
