i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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