my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't notice because vodka
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
