I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
