I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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