And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Panties = found
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
