I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
