I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
birth control should be required to get into college
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
