No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The air was thick with penises
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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