I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
