That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
