I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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