i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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