Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Mom said you looked used
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
