I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
