i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
not ubering you a puppy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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