Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The Olympian is in my bed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
