He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
