I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it glows. i had to have it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
