If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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