I only kidnapped one of them. chill
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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