can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
