you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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