btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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