Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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