Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
