it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
