The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
