Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
do nipples grow back?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
