I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
