can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
