I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
