craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
