I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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