Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
